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March 18, 2008

Distracted by procrastination

A countless times before, I have been inspired
To be soon distracted by something to my assent
Procrastination has had me glued and mired
As a mirage, it has pulled me away from the present

Along came my day-dreams to do away with the heath
Building for me tall, colossal forts and palaces
Eventually, reality pulled away the chair beneath
While I waited for the thrones and chalices

March 05, 2008

Being Uncertain

Uncertainty is a good thing. It lets you live the moment. - Me

Now you would ask, 'why?' Remember those days when, as kids, all we could do was to think about what we want to do when we grow up. A new career every year. I remember my first dream was to be a doctor. Then, as a couple of years passed, I wanted to join the defence services. Then came Fauji, the television series, and I wanted to be a military doctor. A couple of years later, I was playing with words and I wanted to be a journalist. Not a reporter, but a journalist, that too in the league of Jug Suraiya and Bachi Karkaria. Then, after my class X exams, inspired by the Bill Gates' school dropout story, I wanted to join the industry of comp, chips and information; all this while thinking that I will excel in whatever I do. Wow, those were the days!

Remember how those moments of looking forward to a dreamily-defined, uncertain future brought respite from the pressure of school work and peers. Wasn't the uncertainty good? The cynic inside me argues that, as a kid, I did not have to deal with the real world, with duniyadari, and that I could bask in my day dreams, oblivious of the trials of the real world. My dreamer rescues me once again and suggests that, at any moment in life, the self-defined times ahead make you look forward to life.

Why do I talk about uncertainty today? Because, once again, after years, I am stranded at the crossroads of choices. I cannot claim I have many, but yes, a handful. As I try to foresee the destination at the far end of the different paths, I wonder if it is the destination that I so desperately seek. My cynic pops in with: You are going nowhere with no plans and a definition of the meaning of life as perplexed as you.

Why would I want to define life, I retort. I may end up taking the most mundane of the paths, but for now, I can enjoy the uncertainty, gleefully putting aside the harsh realities.

May be I fail to see the big picture today. May be I will be back to the 'responsible' life as put by my cynic. However, I cannot deny the fact that, in living the moment, I experience joy.

Running away, I am not
I seek no treasure, no fortune
No glitter appeals to me
I sing today a different tune

Trials will come my way
To wrestle with, I am prepared
For now let me relish
Bliss in dreams I have reared