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October 31, 2010

Being foolishly romantic about life

As a kid, I dreamt of a world without animosity; and I have brought along the thought in my growing years. This thought took a back-seat with me getting busy with my life. While I had stopped giving it much thought, I almost lived by the theory that one smile or good word could trigger a chain reaction of smiles.

In spite of having the occasional temper spasms, I have tried not to be rude or mean to people. Friends and acquaintances have often advised me to become practical or cracked jokes on me, all in good spirit. Some have also attributed my behaviour to weakness, and there have been times I have believed them and cursed myself. But the kid in me always managed to take over and tend to the optimist in me.

One of the areas my attitude has been a bone of contention is in the way I handled my maid while in Bangalore. In the five years she worked at our place, I shouted at her once. A smiled when I told him I gave the maid - Parashakti - a piece of my mind. He had overheard my little sermon, and wondered, "Does she know you screamed at her?" I guess mom, M and A are the privileged ones to be at the receiving end of my temper.

Parashakti and her mom-in-law - I called her Amma - used to work at our place. In the last year, I saw more of Amma. Sometimes, Parashakti's school-going son would come along. Sometimes, his younger cousins would come with Amma. A and I had developed a ritual of giving the kids toffees and biscuits on every visit. More than the kids, it pleased their mom and granny.

The two ladies and I communicated through body language most of the time. In fact, for a long time, "tea" was the only word our verbal communication was limited to, and it was uttered only when I asked them if they would like to have tea. They spoke Tamil and a little Kannada. We had managed to pick up words from the two languages for times when we needed to give her detail instructions. After all that effort that went into working out the right body gesture, I was in for a surprise six months after I returned home from a trip. I said something in Hindi and Parashakti responded in Hindi. Obviously, I was surprised. She explained it saying that she had been working in a Hindi-speaking household. I wondered if those people were teachers or my maid had a slip of the tongue after that long a break; after all, she had been given the benefit of doubt many times thanks to our non-verbal communication.

The two ladies were immensely trust-worthy. At 6 o'clock, I could just about manage to recognize them from their silhouette at the door. I would then go back to sleep. The thought that I should watch them never crossed my mind. They gave me a lot of trouble and squabbles with A on how they worked, but never for a moment did we lose trust in them.

Seeing them everyday for five years gave us a lot of moments, yet those did not have the promise of turning into memories later. As we packed our lives into bags for a new place, I knew I had to give a two-minute farewell to my maids too. As I handed over a few household things, her salary, and some farewell money to Amma, I felt a strange feeling in my stomach, a nostalgic effort to hold on to the moment. A lot of things were changing in our lives; something made me feel Amma felt the same way. I hugged her the moment her eyes gave way to tears. The hug made her inconsolable. She blessed me in incomprehensible words: she was howling. From the unformed words and the uncontrollable sobs, I could make out that she was saying we were the best people she had worked for. Standing in an empty kitchen, Amma and I had become colossal entities for the moment. I had forgotten about the kids and Parashakti standing near us. I didn't even bother about the bunch of strangers who were looking about the house, checking it out for purchase. I hugged Amma again even as my 'guests' looked on. I hugged an emotional but calm Parashakti. As Amma's sobs continued, I handed over a piece of paper with my number to Parashakti. I told Amma she could talk to me any time she wanted. Of course, we knew that our paths were not going to cross again.

As I left Amma and Parashakti in my past, I felt happily numb. I hoped good behaviour would continue to trigger the chain reaction of smiles and emotions. Foolishly romantic, am I? I am happy I am not alone.


Sri said...

Wish we humans would love and treat each other equals! A great gesture anu! keep it up; yes, in this world we need to be smart but when we do meet genuine people we too should be genuine :) An act of kindness is never forgotten or lost!

Sunil Rajguru said...

Nice! I commend your on your behaviour. And I hope you get many more such moments in your life!!!

Anuradha Sinha said...

@Sri: You are right, Sri. I guess it is the goodness in people that makes the world experience happiness.

@Sunil: Thanks a lot, Sunil. :)

Vinisha said...

Wow. From our first interaction I knew that I wanted to someone like you- calmer and knowledgeable. After reading this blog post, it seems I have miles to go.

Anuradha Sinha said...

@Vinisha: You embarrass me. There is nowhere to go. :)

Mrinal Deo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrinal Deo said...

"At 6 o'clock, I could just about manage to recognize them from their silhouette at the door." Incomprehensible blessings... {Amazing lines}

You seem to possess the robust and flawless gift of gab and rightly so, you're the content manager at a leading web firm. (peeped into your FB profile). During the entire blog, I felt like one of the children of Parashakti!

Let the chain reactions of smiles spread like wild fire.


Anuradha Sinha said...

@Mrinal, I am flattered by your comments/observations.

A Radikal Mind said...

Beautifully put into words Anuradha ji.. Its so hard to believe in love these days, everybody around you will try to make you believe otherwise... But they dont understand the worst thing about glasses, they tint your whole world, but you never really see them yourself...

A Radikal Mind said...

"Some have also attributed my behaviour to weakness, and there have been times I have believed them and cursed myself."

Love is a big responsibility and the one bearing it is not weak, weak are those who shall let the evil win by turning themselves over to it for worldly gain, Love is not something to do, it is something to ultimately become... forget it if the thought seems too drunk :)

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